A Caregiver's Prayer (Number 45 in a series)

"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Matthew 25:40 (KJV).


I'm fighting my share of battles these days as I watch my mother decline. Even when she is at her most hurtful and demanding, I must remind myself that I am not only caring for her; I am caring for Jesus through her. I don't always succeed as well as I desire.

For my fellow caregivers everywhere, as well as myself, I offer this prayer.

A Caregiver’s Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Today I look on a face I love without the person I love behind it. Today I seek to provide my loved one’s needs, not knowing if I am even recognized. Today I move one day closer to “Farewell.”

Please help me to remember the heart and soul now hidden from me. Remind me when I don’t have a name in my loved one’s eyes that I have a name in You. Give me strength to do what I must do to provide nourishment and comfort, even when I must do battle with a seeming stranger to do so. Give me patience with the lack of recognition and understanding, with the presence of confusion and fear.

Father, give me cognizance of those flashes of the one who used to be, that I may rejoice in a moment’s gift. Give me kindness when the stranger returns. Please remind me that the odd behavior of one I once knew so well comes not from the heart but from the condition now presenting itself.

Make my touch gentle, my voice soft, my thoughts loving. Help me to fight the demons of exhaustion, frustration and depression so that I may overcome them in Your mighty Name.

When I grow discouraged, Father, please lift me up. When I grow impatient, please slow me down. Help me at all times to be Your hands and feet to the one who is drawing ever nearer to Your Throne. Remind me that what I do here, I do to Your glory and as though I do it for You, as well. Remind me to praise you for the opportunity to serve. So many don't get the chance to say "Good-bye," much less show their love through providing care.

Each time I leave the bedside, remind me to say “I love you.” This may be the moment when my loved one understands. It may be the last chance I have to say it. It will always be a reminder, even in my darkest moments.

And, dear Father, when the time comes to let go, please remind me that we will meet again in Your presence. Comfort me with Your care. Let me hold to the good memories until the day we have the opportunity to make perfect ones, in Your paradise.

In the name of Your Precious Son Jesus I ask these things,

Amen.
 
Copyright 2010 Mary Beth Magee

One Door - a devotion (Number 41 in a series)

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” Revelation 3:20 (American Standard Version)

Some days, Jesus taps lightly at the door of my heart, making Himself available to me but not being pushy. More a reminder of His presence than a demand for entry, His is the knock of a well-loved friend. As I rush to open the door and enter His presence, I rejoice that He would take the time to call on me, to share my day.

There are other days when I hear Jesus knocking at the door so clearly I could think it a physical barricade. Desirous of sharing my company, He is persistent in His quest. When I feel most pulled in a dozen directions by life, I could almost call out “Go away, I don’t have time to come to the door right now.” In my frustration, I consider sending Him away like an unwanted door-to-door salesperson.

Ironically, those are the days I need His fellowship most. Those terrible times when nothing is going right and I feel least lovable are the times He can show me His power most clearly, He can ease my burden most dramatically. Praise God that He doesn’t let my disarray dissuade Him from wanting me.

The odd thing is - it’s the same door. Whether I hang a beautiful wreath and put out a welcome mat, or I slide the bolt and lock it fast, the door doesn’t change. There is one door, one way into my heart and I have control over whether or not I let Him enter.

In the same way, there is one way to God and that is through His Son, Jesus Christ. God identified Jesus as His Son (Matthew 3:17 and 17:5; Mark 1:11 and 9:7; Luke 3:22 and 9:35); Jesus identified Himself as The Way (John 14:6). Just as we choose whether or not to let Him into our heart, so we also choose whether or not to accept Him as the way, the truth, the life.

Have you opened the door to Him? Are you being blessed by His presence? Or are you trying to ignore Him, hoping He’ll go away? As long as you are breathing, He’ll be knocking, offering you His salvation and His companionship. He is the way to the Father, the way to peace, the way to eternal life. Let Him in. You’ll be glad you did.

Gracious Father, we thank You for the gift of Your Son, who does not give up on us. Help us to welcome His knock as a visit from a dear loved one. Give us wisdom to open the door to Him and fall into His arms.

© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

Such As I Have (Number 37 in a series)

“Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee.” Acts 3:6a (KJV)

Boy, can I identify with the first part of Peter’s statement! I’ve been out of fulltime work now for nearly ten months. Although I am sure there is something for me out there, it doesn’t seem to be in any particular hurry to reveal itself to me.

I’ve become quite saddened by many of the charity appeals I see, because I have nothing to give. No silver. No gold. No green, either. It breaks my heart to say “No.”

In the last few weeks, this verse has been heavy on my heart, so much so that I went back to look it up and read it in context. Peter is addressing a crippled beggar near the Temple. The man has asked for a handout. Instead, Peter and John give him a changed life. They heal him!

No, I’m not going around healing crippled beggars. But I have been thinking about the “such as I have” part of Peter’s speech. True, I don’t have money. I do, however, have skills and time. Those things I can give.

My mother needs care. I can do that. In fact, I worked in home health many years ago until an automobile accident left me unable to life heavy loads. But my mother weighs so little, I can manage her needs easily.

Our church is sponsoring a jobseekers ministry. I got excited about signing up as a jobseeker. Guess what they were looking for? Volunteers, including ones who could teach people basic computer skills. Aha! I can give that.

Peanut butter or canned goods on sale at the supermarket – buy one, get one free. I only need one, but the church food pantry can use the other one.

I’ve lost some weight over the last year. Some of my clothes no longer fit properly. I can’t use them, but the clothing closet at church can find someone who can.

“Such as I have” is what God has given me in this moment. What I do with it is what I give back to Him.

What are the “such as I have” things in your life? Are you making the best use of those things God has given you?


Father, thank You for the things You give us, meeting our needs. Help us to share those blessings with others and to actively look for ways to apply our gifts to meet the needs of others.

To His Glory! (Number 35 in a series)

“Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.” Proverbs 16:3 (King James Version)

When I first arrived at my sister’s house to help care for my mother, Mama was not doing well. She required nearly round-the-clock care, was hallucinating, incontinent and pretty helpless.

Eight months later, we are rejoicing in Mama’s rebuilt strength and capacity. She is able to attend church services now and go to the hairdresser to have her hair done. She can walk around with the aid of her walker and we have outfitted the bathtub with a tub transfer bench so that she can shower instead of being limited to sponge baths. Wearing incontinence control underwear frees her from the tyranny of needing to remain close to a toilet. Mama is not self-sufficient, but she is much less dependent on us for moment-to-moment activities.

In those first few weeks, I was worn out from lack of sleep and being unable to relax totally for fear I wouldn’t hear Mama if she needed me. I worried about making a mistake in her care through exhaustion. What if I didn’t measure her medicine correctly or gave it more often than I should? What if I stumbled while trying to help her ambulate and she fell?

God’s still small voice reminded me of many things in those days. He reinforced to me that He was the source of my strength. His love for Mama exceeded mine. He called to my mind the systems of care I had learned so many years ago, first as a candy striper and later as a home health aide. And we made it through those terrible days.

Now we have settled into a routine. The danger is the potential lack of attention to detail which often accompanies routine. How do I overcome this? Each morning, I rise and commit my day’s activities to God’s glory – the best antidote I know for the mind-numbing effects of the monotony of repetition.

How do you cope with the day-after-day routine of life? Do you seek escape through artificial means such as alcohol or drugs? Do you hide in another world, like video games? Or do you take each step in the company of the God who created you and loves you so much He sent His Son for you. He’ll gladly walk with you and make everything you do special because it glorifies Him.

Father, thank you for the opportunity of service to You through serving our fellow man in any honest capacity. Give us strength and wisdom as we work. Take the efforts of our hands and use them to turn people toward You and Your glory.

© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

Hold Fast to the Truth (Number 34 in a series)

“He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he.” Deuteronomy 32:4 (KJV)

To be unemployed is a real eye-opener. My checkbook is under new scrutiny and everything I spend is weighed strictly against what I can expect to come in. My time is at the same time valueless (in terms of earnings) and precious (because I can spend time with my mother and sister and her family). Job hunting is now my occupation.

The world has a huge tendency to judge our value in life by what we “do” for a living. In that value system, I am a failure, a waste, a loser. And oh, does the Deceiver latch on to that refrain. Fortunately, I have the God of Truth to tell me differently.

Satan says “You are useless.” God says “I have a plan for you.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

“You should worry about your finances – they aren’t getting any better,” points out Satan.

“Don’t be afraid,” God says. “I’ve loved you since before you were born.” (Isaiah 44; Psalm 139)

When Satan says that no one wants me, God reminds me that He loves me so much that He gave His Son for me (John 3:16).

As the group Casting Crowns points out in their wonderful song “The Voice of Truth,” I can choose which voice to heed. Each of us has that choice as we face the world and its voices of fear, accusation and disdain.

Who will you listen to? Who will you believe? Will you let the world tear you down? Or will you, as Casting Crowns sings, choose “to listen and believe the Voice of Truth?”

Father, thank You for being the voice of truth in a world of lies and accusations. Help me to always tune my ear to Your words and my heart to Your love.

© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

Is It Relative? (Number 33 in a series)

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” John 14:6 (KJV)


Some things are relative. Take speed, for example: 55 mph on an Interstate highway can seem relatively tame, compared to the other traffic on the road. That same 55 mph can feel insanely fast on a twisting, turning mountain back road.

Spice is another “relative” term. Your perception of ‘mildly seasoned’ may be over my comfort threshold. Neither of us is right or wrong in the flavor we like – it’s simply a matter of personal preference.

Other things are absolute. There are no ‘sometimes,’ ‘maybe’ or personal preference aspects up for discussion. Human beings absolutely must have an appropriate amount of oxygen in the air they breathe, or they die. They must take in enough nourishment or they waste away and eventually starve to death. They must take in enough fluid or they will dehydrate and die. There are certain non-negotiable elements to life. You may be able to hold your breath for a certain length of time or survive for a little while on no food or water, but death will come.

Jesus is another of those non-negotiable elements. He said it Himself: nobody comes to God without going through Him. All sorts of discussions have been raised about ‘sincere’ people and ‘good’ people and other paths. Jesus didn’t say “nobody except really sincere people comes to God but by Me.” He didn’t say anything about alternate paths or honestly held (even if wrong) beliefs.

Maintaining life isn’t relative. Neither is eternal life. Some things are simple, straightforward and absolute.

Which road are you on? Is it the one leading to eternal life with Him? Or is it some other road? Are you looking at eternity in relative terms or are you absolutely sure of where you’re going?

Father, we thank You for loving us so much that You gave Jesus to come and tell us in clear terms how we could come to You. Thank you for Your absolute promise of eternity with You, if we will follow the right road.

© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

The Trap of Envy (Number 32 in a series)

“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.” Exodus 20:17 (KJV)

My sister has three horses: two Missouri Fox Trotters, a mare and a gelding, and a gelding Mini. The full-sized gelding is the alpha horse of the herd. At feeding time, he exercises his authority over the others by running them away from the first feed bin to be filled.

There are three feed bins, spread apart. Once he has his feed, you would think he’d be happy. But no, he is so envious of what the others have that he will abandon his bin to run them from theirs. There is no difference in what they’re getting, yet he wants what they have so much that he doesn’t enjoy his own.

Not only does he not take time to enjoy his own, but he also loses it. While he is busy stealing their food, they amble over to his and eat that instead. He doesn’t gain anything by coveting their meals.

Isn’t that what envy does in humans? Envy makes us worry so much about what someone else has that we don’t appreciate what we do have. We can easily get caught up in wanting instead of thanking God for He has already given us.

“For wrath killeth the foolish man, and envy slayeth the silly one.” Job 5:2 (KJV)

Have you fallen into the trap of ‘the silly one’ and let envy slay your joy? Take a moment to appreciate all the blessings you’ve received. Contented gratitude is the antidote to envy.

Father, thank you for all that You have given me. Help me to be grateful for what I have, not envious of what I don’t have. And please grant me an abundance of contentment, wherever I find myself.

© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

He is Faithful (number 31 in a series)

“I will sing of the mercies of the LORD for ever: with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations. For I have said, Mercy shall be built up for ever: thy faithfulness shalt thou establish in the very heavens.” Psalm 89:1-2 (KJV)

Living in the foothills is an unbelievable experience. I learn new things every day. One of the biggest surprises I had was discovering the Sierra Nevada mountains are not looming over everything. In fact, I seldom see them.

The foothills are high enough around us to block the view of the mountains most of the time. But every so often, you round a curve or top a hill and find amazing beauty spread before you as the snow-frosted mountains come into view. The mountains are there, whether you see them or not. They may be out of your line of sight, but they are still rising majestically in their place.

The mountains remind me of the faithfulness of God. Even when I don’t see His hand or hear His voice, He is still there. He has promised to be with me and never to forsake me. Mountains may shift and crumble, eroded or shaved by man’s designs. God will not be moved. He is constant, dependable, faithful.

What are the signs in your life of God’s faithfulness? Have you praised Him for them lately?

Father, we thank you for Your promise to always be with us and we praise You for Your everlasting faithfulness. Keep us ever mindful of Your presence, even when unseen.

© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

Standing Up to Distractions (Number 28 in a series)

Concerning the works of men, by the word of thy lips I have kept me from the paths of the destroyer. Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not. I have called upon thee, for thou wilt hear me, O God: incline thine ear unto me, and hear my speech. Psalm 17: 4-6 (KJV)


I have learned from hard experience how easy it is to be distracted by seemingly innocent behaviors. Suddenly time has passed; things I should have done are not done, while I’ve been doing something that bore no fruit. Have you ever had that happen to you? If so, you know what I mean.

There are days when it takes a concentrated effort on my part to stay on task. Some days it is easy to do. In both cases, at the end of the day I feel a deep contentment that I lack on those days when I don’t stay focused. Rather than disappointment over what I haven’t done, I have joy in what I accomplished. I like those days a lot better than the others.

There is a great deal of discussion and teaching on the subject of Christian money management. I am out of work and pretty much have no money to manage so that’s sort of a moot point for me just now. What I do have is TIME. How I manage that time is as critical to my spiritual life as any financial management skills. Am I using my time to His glory or am I ‘slipping from the path’ and frittering it away?

Computer games, hundred of TV channels, novels – these are all tools. How I use them is my choice. Am I spending a few minutes in relaxation or losing hours in unproductive pursuits? Does the pastime enrich me or leave me feeling guilty? God has given us a precious capacity for play and recreation, but we have a human tendency to lose perspective and balance.

Where are you spending your time? Are you cultivating for the Kingdom with your activities? Do you feel satisfied and fulfilled at the end of the day, or irritated and frustrated with what you’ve done?

Father, thank You for the gift of time. Help me to use it wisely and to Your glory. Keep me on the path to You. Please help me to choose rightly when faced with a choice of activities.

© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

The Basin, the Towel and the Heart (Number 24 in a series)

"He [Jesus] riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded." John 13:4-5 (KJV)


The example of Jesus washing the feet of the disciples is often used as an example of servanthood. I was content with that explanation until recently. Now I see Jesus’ act as an expression of love for the disciples.

My mother is no longer able to bathe alone; I help her with a sponge bath each day. She washes what she can reach and I wash what she can’t. These days, that includes her feet. I place the little wash basin on the floor and she places her feet in the water, one at a time. I kneel beside her and first wash, then dry, each foot.

The first time she slipped a foot into the pan of warm water, she sighed with pleasure and said, “Oh, that feels so good.” I used the washcloth to let water run down her shin and calf, then wiped her leg, from knee to toes. Lifting her foot from the water, I dried it and repeated the process with the other foot. I found myself smiling at her delight.

And then it struck me: it gave me joy to wash her feet, because I loved giving her the pleasure of the warm water and massage of the washcloth and the resulting clean feet. Because I love her, I love to do things for her. I don’t mean to belittle all those theologians who use the basin and towel to demonstrate servanthood and its importance in the church. I just want to acknowledge the other part of the demonstration, the component that explains the first one – the love.

At the center of the servant heart is love. We serve those we love for their own sake. We serve those we love for God’s sake. Whether we wash their feet or donate money for their relief or serve food at their shelter or however else we may serve, we do it for love.

Father, thank you for sending us Your love in the form of Your Son. Help us to always reflect Your love in the service we perform, that we may always point others toward You.


© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

Vines and Branches (Number 23 in a series)

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” John 15: 4-5 (KJV)

Although I now live in northern California – wine country – I have yet to see a vineyard in full growth. My previous visits have been in late autumn or early winter and my arrival for the move here was in late October. The vineyards are barren-looking fields, strung with horizontal wires and interspersed with vertical “sticks.” If this was the only thing I knew about vineyards, I would think them sad things indeed.

Yet Jesus likened himself to a vine. There must be more to a vine than those pitiful sticks. And there is.

The vine is the backbone of the grape plant, the starting point from which the branches spread and grow. It is the vine that endures through the winter, waiting to send out new growth in spring’s warmth. The vine is also what determines the kind of grapes are to be produced on those branches.

With Jesus as our vine, we will branch out into the kinds of activities He would have us do. Our actions and thoughts (our fruit) will reflect Him. The harvest of our lives will bring Him glory.

If we spring from some other vine, that will show as well. Our lives will be filled with things other than Jesus and the harvest from our husbandry will be much poorer.

When we lived in Mississippi, we saw scuppernong vines growing in wild abandon, a riot of elegant curves and graceful leaves. These oversized white grapes provided tasty fruit for jelly and beautiful foliage for scenery. The trellises on which they were supported created a cool, shady haven. This is the sort of multi-faceted beauty our lives can display, if we spring from the True Vine.

I’m looking forward to seeing California in full bloom, vines and all. Meanwhile, I’ll draw on the Vine for spiritual blooming.

Father, thank you for providing the Vine to anchor our lives in what is pleasing to You. Help us to always remain true to the Vine in all we say and do, that we may be judged as fruitful branches for Your kingdom.


© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

From A to Zebra (Number 21 in a series)

“And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.” Genesis 1: 25 (KJV)

I am enamored of zebras. There’s something about those striped equines that brings a smile to my face. Over the years, friends and family members have given me gifts of zebra-striped items and I have collected others on my own. When I was employed, I even “adopted” a zebra at Brookfield Zoo.

Evolutionists will claim the zebra’s stripes are a survival device, an adaptation to conditions. I don’t deny that zebras benefit from their stripes. I just think there’s more to them than a simple evolutionary mutation.

You see, I think our God is a God who takes joy in our enjoyment of His creation. So He made things not only functional, but entertaining as well. Would He have given us so many varieties of plant and animal life, and given them such charming ways, if He didn’t intend to give us pleasure in them? Zebras, giraffes and okapis are just three of the examples of animals with the ability to amuse us just by coming into view. Let’s not forget puffins, penguins, pandas and koalas.

Let’s face it – He fed the children of Israel for forty years on manna. He could do the same for us. Yet we have an abundance of variety in foodstuffs: fruits, vegetables, herbs, grains, meats. Think of the culinary accomplishments of any ethnic group and you’ll quickly see how great a selection of flavors and foodstuffs exists.

What about pets? There is endless discussion over the best pet, because there is such variety in the darling critters. Feline, canine, equine, aquatic, amphibious – these and more are available possibilities. How wonderful that God made each of us different, then created such an array of animals to match our lifestyles and personalities.

We serve a God who is not boring by any definition. He gives us endless sources of delight in His world. Hallelujah! We serve the God of Joy!

Dear Father, thank You for the variety of Your creation. Help us to see Your hand in each stripe and spot, each fin and feather. Thank You for the companionship and service of animals. May we always treat them with the respect Your creation deserves.

© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

The Body Beautiful (Number 20 in a series)

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” Psalm 139: 14 (KJV)

A caregiver faces many issues. Beyond the physical demands of helping someone to rise from a bed or chair are the emotional demands of assisting in nutrition or personal hygiene.

For my mother, meals consist of liquids hung in a gravity-feed bag called a kangaroo pouch. The nutritional liquid goes through a tube into a valve implanted in her stomach wall – a percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy (PEG) tube. Each feeding and/or dose of medication requires exposing her upper abdomen for access to the tube.

Because she is weak and has poor balance, Mama requires help bathing and even going to the bathroom. She laments having to let me see her body, embarrassed by the lack of privacy and modesty she must experience. Although I try to be mindful of her dignity, sometimes we both fall prey to giggling fits as I wash and dry her feet, particularly between her toes. Neither of us is in a very dignified position at that moment!

Through all of this, I am amazed by her. Her limbs are wrapped in crepe-like skin, slack against out-of-tone muscles. Yet she works to pull herself up, to walk back and forth to try to build her strength. Although she’s given birth to four daughters, her stomach is still flat, although the skin is not smooth. I marvel at the grip of her gnarled hands, as we lock forearms to steady her gait.

How wondrous is the human body! Even as it winds down, it is a thing of amazing beauty. The gentleness of her touch and the comfort of her embrace are still delights. Her smile, when I can entice one from her, is as warm as June sunshine.

One day I will have to say farewell to her body. The truth which comforts me is that her soul will go on, and we will meet again in glory. How marvelous, Lord! How wondrously marvelous!

Father, I thank you for the love You put into creating each of us. We are each beautiful in our own way, by Your design. Help us to see Your creation in each other at all stages of life, and to appreciate each other in Your Name.

© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

The Value of Preparation (Number 19 in a series)

“And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out. But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves. And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut. Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us. But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not. Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.” Matthew 25: 8-13 (KJV)

My little dog is diabetic. She was diagnosed several years ago. When her veterinarian was teaching me about caring for a diabetic dog, she warned me about the signs of hypoglycemia, such as disorientation, staggering, and lack of muscle control and told me what to do if necessary. I tucked the information away in the back of my mind and went on with the day-to-day business of life. Other than minor adjustments to her insulin dosage along the way, we’ve had a pretty smooth path with her ailment.

In the past few weeks, Shady has experienced two episodes of hypoglycemia, wobbling about and falling at her hindquarters. The first incident caught me by surprise, yet the vet’s instructions came back to me. I rubbed honey on Shady’s gums, as the doctor had instructed, and within a few minutes she was back to her normal self. The vet had prepared me for the possibility of such an event and I was able to act appropriately.

I couldn’t help but think of the parable of the wise virgins and foolish virgins, as recounted in Matthew 25. The wise virgins were ready for the bridegroom’s arrival. They had the supplies they needed and were part of the celebration, whenever he got there. The foolish virgins were not.

Had the vet not taken the time to prepare me for what might happen, I wouldn’t have been ready when action was needed. Neither of us knew when Shady might have an episode. But she gave me the knowledge I needed to be ready to do what had to be done.

As Christians, we have a responsibility to be ready when the Bridegroom returns. We have a second responsibility, as well: to tell others to be ready for His coming. Jesus warned us that we would not know when He would be back, but He will be back. When the day comes, will there be people celebrating with you, because you helped them to prepare? Will there be someone missing from the celebration – someone you regret not telling about Him? The choice is yours.

Father, thank you for the knowledge You have given us, even before we need it, of Your love and care. Thank you for the assurance of Jesus’ return. Give us courage to share the Word with those who don’t know. Help us to stay prepared and to help others to be prepared.

©2009 Mary Beth Magee

The Best Laid Plans (Number 18 in a series)

“But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him, And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.” Luke 10: 33-35 (KJV)

When I arrived in California to help care for my mother, I envisioned hours spent in writing as I sat near her, ready to meet any need she may have. My sister had reported that Mama did little more than sleep between her feedings (through a percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy - or PEG - tube).

Reality is somewhat different than my imaginings. Mama only sleeps intermittently (even at night!). She talks in her sleep, often crying out as though in distress or pain. She requires help ambulating to and from her bedside commode chair. Sometimes we can convince her to walk a little more, into the living room or perhaps into her bathroom for a quick “spit bath” in the sink.

Occasionally, Mama develops pain in her legs or feet. We use lavender oil or a chamomile based cream to massage the ailing part. Sometimes she just craves the human touch of someone holding her hand.

She imagines strange people in the room, requiring me to order them out or check on what they are doing. There are “accidents” requiring her bed to be changed, sometimes numerous times a day. The resultant loads of laundry must be washed, dried, folded and put away.

Another problem is the blockage in her esophagus, the reason the PEG tube was installed. The tube takes care of getting her nutrition, but it cannot help her feeling of needing to burp. So we have any number of antics to try to dislodge reluctant air bubbles. We try walking, getting up and down, patting her on the back and anything else we can think of to try to clear the bubble.

These interruptions can come at any moment. My concentration gets broken; whatever I’m working on gets set aside. Most of the writing I planned to get done is still waiting for me.

I wonder if the Samaritan had plans that day, on the road between Jerusalem and Jericho? Whatever they were, he put them aside to care for the man who had fallen among thieves. In putting his own plans on hold, he kept the appointment God had for him. The compassion he demonstrated has come to mean someone who cares above and beyond expectations – the Good Samaritan. Each time my plans get rearranged, I try to remember the Good Samaritan and open my heart to God’s plans.

Father, thank you for having the Master Plan. Please forgive me those times when I consider my own plans to be the most important things in the world. Help me to look to You for the right “next step” and not my own thoughts.

© 2008 Mary Beth Magee

The Escape Artist (Number 17 in a series)

“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” II Peter 3:9 (KJV)

My mother has become something of an escape artist, in spite of our best efforts. She has fallen several times while trying to get out of bed during the night. My sister and I have tried any number of ways to keep her safe.

We have resorted to a baby monitor in her room so that she can call for assistance if she needs to get up during the night. We got a hospital bed with side rails to try to keep her from getting up and wandering around without someone to help her stay upright.

She evades the monitor by not saying anything as she sneaks out of the bed. She takes advantage of the foot-long gap between the end of the rail and the foot of the bed to slither, snakelike, out into the room. On occasion, she tries to slip out under the rail, resulting in being caught like a fox in a trap – unable to get out or go back into the bed.

Some mornings, I come into the room to find her sitting on the edge of the bed, feet dangling as though she were sitting at a desk. One morning, I found her on her knees, with her shoulders wedged between the rail and the frame. And some heart-stopping mornings I find her on the floor. She has made good her escape from the bed, only to find her strength spent.

God has blessed us. Mama seems to sink to the floor, rather than fall, on most occasions. She has suffered no broken bones, only some minor abrasions and bruising. But we fear the time of a solid fall or a piece of furniture in the way. So we continue trying to protect her and she continues trying to escape.

I can’t help but be reminded of God and His love for us. We keep trying to escape His love. He keeps opening His arms to bring us back to His protection. We have His promise to keep making the offer of eternal life to us, because He is faithful and unwilling to let any of us go to eternal death.

Mama has the underlying cause of dementia to spur her attempts to “escape;” what reason can any of us use to justify trying to escape God? Yet we do, more often than we would probably admit. Each time we do what we find expedient rather than what He has told us is right, we are trying to escape.

Father, please forgive me when I fight Your will and try to do things my own way. Remind me of Your constant love and care. Help me to rest in the knowledge of Your goodness. And thank you so much for watching over Mama!

© 2009 Mary Beth Magee

Is It Your Best? (Number 16 in a series)

“Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given us…” Romans 12:6 (KJV)

As I wound my way into town, a Christmas CD played in the car – an instrumental version of “The Little Drummer Boy.” I sang along with the melody, and a mental image of the little boy popped into my head. A child, wanting so desperately to give a gift to the Child yet fearing he had nothing good enough to offer.

I thought about his dilemma and his creative solution. All he had was a musical gift, to play the drum. The gift he gave was to play the best he could. And he earned a smile from the Christ Child.

The traditional story got me to thinking: do I give my best, or do I settle for less? Any gift I give shouldn’t just be Good. It should be the Best I can do. There is no job too large or small, no offering too unimportant to undeserving of the best I can do. My best effort, my best heart, my best attention to detail.

When I was growing up in Grace Baptist Church in New Orleans, I belonged to the Girls’ Auxiliary. One of the songs we sang, practically an anthem for us, was entitled “Give of Your Best to the Master.” If I close my eyes for a moment, I can still hear those young voices enjoining each other to do our best for Jesus, just as the drummer boy did.

Each of us has strengths and weaknesses, and there are some things in which we excel while other tasks may seem heartbreakingly difficult. Jesus does not demand that we do everything perfectly, but asks us to use the gifts He has given us to do our best at whatever we undertake.

It’s a lesson to remember, not only at Christmas, but all year round!

Dear Jesus, You are God’s Best and He sent you for me. Help me to remember always to give You my best in return.

© 2008 Mary Beth Magee

He Knows My Name (Number 15 in a series)

“…the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out. And when he putteth forth his own sheep, he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice.” John 10: 3b-4 (KJV)

Awake or asleep, Mama calls. If I’m not in the room with her, I hear her on the monitor calling out. Not my name, always. Right now she thinks I’m my late Aunt Louise.

Other times, she calls me Dolores, Katie or Lena, Mutzie or Carrie (other aunts). Occasionally she calls me “Mama.” Sometimes, it’s a name I don’t recognize as family, such as Erma. And sometimes, she calls me by my own name and is quite proud of remembering who I am.

Whatever name she uses, I respond. Occasionally I will tease her with “Louise isn’t here. Will I do?” The main thing is her voice is calling out. My mother. I recognize her voice and that’s what gets me moving toward her in response

When I reread Jesus’ parable of the sheep, I understood afresh the importance of recognizing the voice doing the calling. I wouldn’t respond so quickly to just any voice in the night. And I am so grateful to know that even though Mama doesn’t always call me by the right name, He always knows who I am. I am His and He will lead me through whatever is to come.

Do you know the Good Shepherd? He knows you, and would love to count you in His flock. Call on the name of Jesus – He already knows your name!

Thank you, Lord, for loving me enough to know my name and call me your own. Please give me wisdom to always recognize your voice.

© 2008 Mary Beth Magee

Morning is Coming (Number 14 in a series)

“And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done. While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.” Genesis 8: 21-22 (KJV)

2:45 a.m. – My mother is calling again. As I stumble from my bed in the adjoining room, I can look out across the shadowed valley through the uncurtained window. How very dark it is without the street lights of suburbia! I can see stars gleaming in the velvet sky and occasionally, the lights of a plane approaching distant Sacramento Airport.

But I can’t stop to look for long – Mama needs help. I put aside my sleepiness and shuffle into her room.

When I’m helping her ambulate to her bedside commode chair (or changing her linens because I didn’t get there in time), it’s easy to give in to exhaustion or frustration. Some of the times, I get there and she doesn’t know what she wants. There are moments it seems the night will never end and I will be responding to her calls forever.

It’s at these times I cling to the promise God gave to Noah. Once the ark landed and was unloaded, Noah made a sacrifice of gratitude for God’s care and protection. God blessed the sacrifice and made promises as to the future of the earth. One of those promises was “day and night shall not cease.”

I know the morning will come, no matter how endless the night seems in the wee hours, no matter how tired I am. My prayer is that God will accept my service to my mother as a sacrifice of love to Him and He will find them pleasing.

When the situation seems darkest, remember “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” (Psalm 30: 5b) And morning will come!

© 2008 Mary Beth Magee

Joy in the Face of Discouragement (Number 13 in a series)

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.” Psalm 42:5 (KJV)

No job today. No interviews lined up. The want ads are lean pickings. Sometimes it’s hard not to give in to discouragement, but then I remember what I’ve learned about it.

Discouragement is a powerful tool in the hands of the enemy. He uses it to take our eyes off of our hope, our destination. With discouragement, he seeks to undermine our faith. Feeling as though God has deserted you? That’s discouragement at work.

There are other faces to discouragement: fear and anxiety, depression, hopelessness, discontent. Each of these is a guise in which discouragement may come to call.

Right now, I’ve been out of work for more than two months. Am I feeling happy about that? No. Am I discouraged about my prospects? NO. When discouragement tries to rear its head, I claim the promise of II Timothy 1:7: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (KJV).”

I count on God’s goodness to get me through the times when Satan uses my diminishing bank account to try to get me down. And I focus on the birds of the air and lilies of the field (Matthew 6) when I send off another job application that gets no reply. While I do what I can about my situation, I rely on God’s planning to provide the final resolution. Although I can’t solve it on my own, with God’s help I can get through.

When discouragement seeks to divert your attention from God’s goodness, remember Satan seeks to drag you down. God will lift you up. Turn your situations over to Him, hang on, and rejoice! He loves you too much to let you go!

© Mary Beth Magee 2008